Self-Introduction
Subject : Self-introduction
Dear Professor Blackstone,
My name is Benjamin Aw Yong and I am writing to you to introduce myself. Since I was young, I always helped my father with the various repair tasks at home. This sparked my interests in building things with my own hands. Therefore, I pursued electrical and electronic engineering in Temasek Polytechnic (TP). However, after my internship at ST Engineering, I realised that I was more interested in the mechanical aspect rather than the electrical aspect of engineering which led me to pursue mechanical engineering in Singapore Institute of Technology.
One communication strength I portray is emotional intelligence. I honed this strength through my leadership roles as the vice-captain of TP Climbing Team and a platoon commander in the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF). In these roles, I had to be mindful and sensitive when I speak to others, balancing the team’s morale while pushing for excellence. However, a weakness of mine is speaking my mind and being too direct. Sometimes, my comments may not be received well by others.
For this module, the two goals I have are to be an effective communicator and the ability to adapt myself appropriately in various situations. These goals will help me in the future, not only in the integrated work study programme and workforce, but also in any future situations.
What differentiates me from others is my people management skill. From my past leadership roles of leading a team of 68 in TP Climbing Team, to managing a platoon of 64 in the SAF. I found myself enjoying working and leading a team with people from all walks of life, forging strong bonds and camaraderie.
I hope that my self-introduction has allowed you know me better and I look forward to learning from you over the semester. Thank you!
Best Regards,
Benjamin Aw Yong Ke Quan
Last Edited: 19/09/2023
Commented on Jiale, Dylan, Joey and Hui Hao's self-introduction.
Hi Benjamin. Great work on providing detailed examples to support your main points. I like your use of more sophisticated words like "camaraderie" but some people like me had to search up the meaning of the word. Overall organisation was good except that your strengths and what differentiates you can maybe be linked and transitioned smoother.
ReplyDelete<3
DeleteHello Ben. I think that your self introduction had a good flow within paragraphs and a clear structure. However, I think your use of "portray" in "One communication strength I portray is emotional intelligence" is inappropriate. I also think that your communication weakness contradicts your communication strength.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the comment. Much appreciated!!
DeleteHi Benjamin, your self-introduction effectively communicates your background and goals, and it is well-structured. You also have show consideration by acknowledging both your strengths and weaknesses. This demonstrates self-awareness and a willingness to improve.
ReplyDeleteThanks bro!! Much appreciated
DeleteThanks much, Benjamin, for the well focused, clear and concise letter. You provide a decent amount of supporting details for your main points, so that we get a sense of who you are. I'm impressed by the leadership skills.
ReplyDeleteThere are a few areas that you need to do minor editing:
1. use of caps
-- I pursued Electrical and Electronic Engineering... > ?
-- I pursued Electrical and Electronic Engineering... > ?
-- ...as the Vice-Captain of TP Climbing Team and a Platoon Commander in the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF). > ?
2. punctuation
-- From my past leadership roles of leading a team of 68 in TP Climbing Team to managing a platoon of 64 in the SAF. I found myself enjoying working and leading a team with people from all walks of life; forging strong bonds and camaraderie. > ?
This is a fine introduction. I look forward to learning more about you this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Thank you for the comment Professor Blackstone, will work harder to improve my writting skills. Appreciate the assistance and guidance!
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